1. tap there oposing sholder obviosly repeatedly untill they tell you to
stop, and when they do blame it on you deseced cat, then giggle to yourself
wildly, and finally confess youve never owned a cat and continue to giggle
histerically.

2. look them in the eyes for an uncomfortably long amount of time without
saying anything, then run for the door shouting "trust no one! the aliens
have canned food".

3)unobtrusely start brushing and patting their hair, smelling it once in a
while. sigh dramatically and say 'what a shame, what a crying shame'. then
go and sit in a corner and cry.

4) bring your cabbage patch doll or equivilant to school, walk up to the
person in question with yr doll and say 'hi. my friend always talks about
you at our weekly tea parties. she was simply dyyyying to meet you. i
think she wants to kiss you. do you want to kiss ....... miss dolly? (nod
dolly's head) here you go ........

5: hold up a rubber duck, look at them for a while, turn to the rubber
duck, then back to them, tell them its your gaurd dog, and that they had
better stay away from your toothpicks. continue to look at them untill they
leave and then throw
the rubber duck at there head, when they turn around and ask you what you
did it for, act suprised and deny everything.

6:walk around with french fries up your nose the entire time, when
questioned about them, begin to cry, and tell them that they cant have your
fries.

7: before school one morning, arive early and write in huge writing on the
board all about your undying and fantastic love for your home teacher, then
take off all your clothes and lie spread eagled underneath with a rose
between your teeth humming the national anthem

8: walk around all day reading the phone book, muttering 'it must be in here
somewhere' and when someone finally asks "what?" shout in a rude manner
"the meaning of life damnit!" and hit them on the head with the book over
and over
untill they fall over.

9: proclaim that you ate an airoplane 300 hundred times, then hold your
breath until you faint.

10. walk right into a door that says no entrance, fall over, and say "but i
was exiting!". then lecture to the sensor about how signs arent what they
used to be.

11: wear a large saucepan on your head painted pink that has glitter all
over it, then when asked reply that it's your thinking cap

12: walk around all day with a large trout attatched to your head, then when
asked, say 'i'm training it to like where it's been put'

13: when someone talks to you, stop them in mid sentence and ask them if
they have an appointment, then say that "(your name) cant see you now",
and tell them if they want to wait, you can put them on hold, procede to
stare into space and hum elevator music untill they go away.

14. bring a sandwich to school and sneeze on it over and over again if asked
"your making it immune to desease", then stomp on it and tell everyone
"your toughening it up", then finally, eat it, tell everyone that you were
"preparing it for the worst."(use finger quotes if necessary, for effect)

15: throw yourself at the ground, flop around a bit, sigh, get up and
repeat numerous times. when asked, say 'i'm learning how to fly and trying
to miss the ground. there's a knack to it you see'

16: become an ant protector. go the whole hog, wear underpants on the
outside,
cape, the lot. whenever you see a line of ants put up a police protection
barrier around them and shout down a megaphone to anyone who cares 'THESE
ARE AN ENDAGERED SPECIES OF RARE TROPICAL OOMPA LOOMPA INGUAMBURA ANTS.YOU
HAVE BEEN WARNED, STEP AWAY FROM THE ANTS!'

17: look under every single rock, bolder, and peble for your long lost
sealion, when someone asks you if you ever really had a sealion, get
offended and say "I could have had a sealion, are you calling me a liar?"
then punch youself in the gut really hard roll around on the floor a while
and then ask them why they hit you.

18: move your head from left to right super fast, then tell everyone off for
running at super human speeds.

19: stuff jelly snakes in your ears and run around with your arms
outsretched like you're flying and making frog noises. wear yellow if at
all possible.

20: you definentally need to be commited, if you enjoyed this list so much
that your gonna actually fwd it to someone. LOSER make up your own jokes.